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Lorna Lovely's Life and Litigations


 I Can't Turn My Back For One Second, Can I?
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Lloyd, Lamar, and I just got back from our mission trip to Romania. While we were there, we were also able to negotiate an open trade policy for Christian cosmetics with their country. We are truly blessed.

But Lord have mercy! I come back to this blog thing for a little fellowship, and what do I find? People running around like chickens with their heads cut off! Grown men who should know better, dressed up in little devil suits, prancing around with their pointy things sticking out!

Well, the only devilled thing around here is our ham! And furthermore, when we did our skits on the last day of Vacation Bible School, if one of the kids acted out and tried to get all the attention, we called them a "ham".

I wanted to share my recipe for the devilled ham loaf I am making for the covered dish at the Secretionist Church this Sunday...



First, slice up some white bread. REALLY white bread.



Then spread lots of devilled crap all over it. Repeat. Repeat. Repent. Repeat.



Then slather lots of (cream) cheese all over it. Keep those radishes handy.



And there you have it. Now doesn't THAT look yummy?

No nibbling now! It's for Sunday!

Now everyone have a blessed evening Lorna

Posted by Lorna Lovely at 7:37 PM - 48 Comments   Add a Comment  
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Comments:

Thank goodness you are back Lorna....we need some good ass kicking here on Blogstream!  
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by Lucy. (PM , CC ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @ 7:51 PM




Amen to that Sister Lucy. I leave for 6 months and all hell breaks loose around here. Shameful. Do you know anything about remote controls, dear? Confounded thing! Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @ 8:34 PM




Lorna,
If any of the remote buttons "light up," choose those first...then go for the most brightly colored. Just as with our eyeshadow; something is bound to happen...
 
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by Marc Rules in Contrast (PM , CC ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @ 9:47 PM




Brother Marc...you are a true angel! I pushed the first button that lit up, and lo and behold...there is Sister Vestal singing "Looking For A City". Bless you. Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @ 9:55 PM




You have been missed Lorna....Halloween is all about dress-up and the ghosts of Halloween past only deliver tricks no treats...I hope your mission was successful Cuddle up my dear it's going to be a bumpy week on the stream.  
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by Coloconnect (PM , CC ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @ 10:59 PM




Lord have mercy, Colo! No more Tab for you! All that cuddling nonsense has gotten me into a hissy fit. Now, be a dear and hand me that remote. Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @ 11:15 PM




You are such a great cook Lorna...Did you say Tab on Ice?....  
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by Coloconnect (PM , CC ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @ 11:51 PM




Hissy fit?....ooops...sorry Lorna you're one woman I would not like to tangle with!  
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by Coloconnect (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 12:01 AM




MMMMMMMMMM thats looks delicious wow........I really could go for a mid night snack Nice to meet you Lorna  
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by Misty (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 12:52 AM




Yes...Colo..and please tell that bitch Martha Stewart you said so! And yes...Tab on ice...very nice. Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 12:54 AM




Nice to met you too, my little Angel Misty...no no...save it for Sunday....I don't care what that little devil Biggie T tells you. Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 12:58 AM




Coloconnect...not me! I am a little angel sent right on down from heaven. There is just so much unmolden clay to work with. We all have have our crosses to bear, don't you find that so?
Lorna!
 
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 1:12 AM




oh how sweet...what a cute funny person you are Lorna...i'm glad you are back on the stream too...(i'm a rookie around these parts but they are breaking me in pretty good  
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by purplefly (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 4:06 AM




purplefly...if I can get a giggle out of you, I'm all good...stay sweet and good to yourself...and remember to giggle at life sometimes Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 4:15 AM




Hosted By SparkleTags.com
Hosted By SparkleTags.com

So nice to see you back. Be sure to have plenty of that TAB on hand for any visitors who may come by.
 
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by Miss Lou (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 4:05 PM




It's Mid-Night can I Have a piece now?  
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by Misty (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 24, 2006 @ 11:52 PM




Bon Marche!  
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by capananda (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 25, 2006 @ 12:08 AM




Oh Lorna,

I just do love your Ham Surprise. I'm sending you a case of Tab just to thank you for the recipe.

Sherry
 
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by Sherry'sCherries (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 25, 2006 @ 6:13 PM




Sister Lou...I swan, hon...ALWAYS a big comfy chair and all the Tab you want at Lorna's condo. Be sweet!  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 25, 2006 @ 10:13 PM




Misty, hon...oh I know it looks just too scrumptious, does it not?! But you mind your manners now and save it for Sunday! Now be sweet and sit next to me right here . I saved a couple of special Tabs just for me and you.

Love... Lorna (and NOT that aweful monkey kind Biggie T talks about.) (He is such a SCAMP) (Lord, the trouble I have with him...just trying to keep him on the straight and narrow)

 
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 25, 2006 @ 10:20 PM




Bon Marche! oh capanadacanada, now you have my attention. That just happens to be my favorite department store, hon. You sure do know how to win a girl over, don't you? "Frugal" is such an ugly word, don't you find that to be true? Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 25, 2006 @ 10:23 PM




Sister Sherry,

My goodness gracious, you saved some Tab from the 70's too? Lord, hon...my bomb shelter is full of it, but bring it over. And there is plenty more devilled ham where that came from, I can assure you.

Oh, we ARE truly blessed are we not? Now come on and sit right next to me (pat pat). Lorna
 
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 25, 2006 @ 10:29 PM




Say...that Tab sure looks good. Mind if I.....?

 
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by Biggie T (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 25, 2006 @ 10:31 PM




Sounds yummy.  
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by ^BELLE^ (PM , CC ) on Thursday October 26, 2006 @ 12:30 PM




I declare, Miss Lorna! You are looking lovelier than ever! It looks as though you've gotten some sun, too!

By the way, your deviled ham sammich loaf thingy looks... uh... very... um, white. At the United Methodist Church potluck suppers, we like to garnish everything with pimento for added color. No need to thank me for the tip. :) -Six

PS... I'm still laughing about the article on Bending Wood. "Now if I could only bend wood like that!"
 
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by SixFootBlonde (PM , CC ) on Thursday October 26, 2006 @ 10:02 PM




(Smack) Oh Biggie T...you stay away from that Tab and that Ham Loaf! I knew there would be nothing but trouble out of you! Save it for Sunday! Good Lord...it never ends does it?  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Friday October 27, 2006 @ 1:49 AM




Belle...well hon, it is of course it's yummy. Whitney and I worked on it all day. Now, dear..what are you bringing to the covered dish this Sunday? Polar B has hinted that she is bringing her Buffalo Chicken dip.  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Friday October 27, 2006 @ 1:55 AM




Buffalo Chicken Dip.....YUMMERS.

What can I bring....let me think... Oh I know....I found a wonderful recipe for a cream cheese cake with nuts. You don't mind if it's shaped like a penis do you...?
 
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by ^BELLE^ (PM , CC ) on Friday October 27, 2006 @ 2:01 AM




Well Sister Six..all I can say is leave it to the Methodists to introduce pimentoes. They "sprinkle" you know. At the Secretionist church, we dunk and dine, hon. Lord, how we do go on! See you this Sunday, Sister. Save some congealed salad for me! Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Friday October 27, 2006 @ 2:07 AM




A cake shaped like a penis? If my memory serves me correctly, I would just have to say "What's everybody else going to eat?"

Sister Mama Belle, my idea of a real cake is one shaped liked Brother Angley. Law say mercy! You don't even have to bake it! Lay your hand on the pan and it bakes itself. Praise the Lord. Now we can go shopping!

Lorna
 
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Friday October 27, 2006 @ 4:45 AM




My mom used to make that devil'd ham crap all the time (prettyrubble bows head, mumbles, 'may she rest in peace') along with lime jello with floaties in it and a dollop of Helman's mayo on top (ACK, SPUTTER!)

Tab...and now they're bringing it back! YAY! (not! )

Remote controls...me to fiance: "Hun why the hell do I need two remotes to work the tv and why does one have 55 fricken buttons? I'm soooo confused!" )

~pr~ aka new kid on the stream block...27 whole daze and counting!
 
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by Pretty Rubble (PM , CC ) on Friday October 27, 2006 @ 6:00 AM




Just to let you know...
you have been
BUSTED
on
OVERHEARD IN THE STREAM SATURDAY...!
Come take a look...
Love ya Lucy
 
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by Lucy. (PM , CC ) on Saturday October 28, 2006 @ 5:58 PM





This will open on Halloween to reveal your gift.
 
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by Miss Lou (PM , CC ) on Sunday October 29, 2006 @ 11:36 AM






Halloween Images @ Bopmyspace.com


Sherry

 
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by Sherry'sCherries (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 31, 2006 @ 10:11 AM




Blog images



myspace layout







































































































































Look up and listen up!
Happy Halloween...
Love Lucy
 
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by Lucy. (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 31, 2006 @ 11:22 AM




Lorna,

I just dropped in on ya to say hello and have a Happy Halloween.

Art
 
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by Art M. (PM , CC ) on Tuesday October 31, 2006 @ 7:38 PM




Love Bomb

I have been working around the clock for some time now, reading everything from War & Peace to the ingredients label from a vintage Hostess Twinkie, trying to devise the perfect antidote to hurt, fear, hate and all that emanates from the Dark Side. This endeavor, which I have code-named, “The Man Hat Project,” has finally reached its glorious pinnacle. After a few misguided attempts, my apologies to the guineas , I have stumbled (many thanks to Budweiser) upon the answer.

The Love Bomb is fashioned after the US Military’s bunker-buster technology and no-one, no-where, can escape its Positive Energies. While most of the science behind it is too complex to reveal here, the end results are Utopian.

All who are within 3 blogs of this post have now been cleansed by its Healing Light and will henceforth show kindness, compassion and respect for their fellow man. I did have to remove the Ecstacy from the publically distributed version. You’ll, no doubt, be receiving emails describing how you can obtain this “Marc’s Special” version of the Love Bomb.

Surrender to the Love now and climb aboard this Love Train. We are going coast-to-coast to those that need us the most!


 
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by Marc Rules in Contrast (PM , CC ) on Wednesday November 1, 2006 @ 11:00 PM




Lord, Sister Rubble...I am confused too. All these channels, so little time. Good thing my son Lloyd comes by at precisly 10 and 3 to tune in Martha Stewart and PTL for me! Take care and be blessed and stay pretty! Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 1:57 AM




Sister Lucy! All these goings on! I may need a little extra something in my Tab tonight and more under eye cream!  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 2:00 AM




Oh my goodness Miss Lou...another pet! Well, thank you, hon, I hope he gets along with my pomeranian. T  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 2:01 AM




Sister Sherry! Thank your dear. We put on a little haunted house at the church last night for the youth ministry. The Howard Dean scream room was the highlight of the evening as usual. Hope you had a blessed one, my dear. Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 2:04 AM




Mr. Marc....secular, but sweet, hon. I'm not one for the jungle beats, but I appreciate the thought. Sit down, I may have some ham loaf left over from Sunday. Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Thursday November 2, 2006 @ 2:07 AM




Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you, and be silent.

Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD)
 
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by Storms (PM , CC ) on Tuesday November 14, 2006 @ 3:00 PM




Why Lorna, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance!  
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by Ruby13 (PM , CC ) on Tuesday November 14, 2006 @ 4:50 PM




Profile Jewels @ profilejewels.net
 
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by Miss Lou (PM , CC ) on Wednesday November 22, 2006 @ 3:26 PM




My goodness, Miss Lou...we JUST got back from Walmart, hon. We've been there since last friday. I found something lovely for you, but when the security alarm went off as I was leaving, these rude men detained me. The nerve. I'll be out just in time for Christmas, though. We are truly blessed. Lorna  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Friday December 1, 2006 @ 3:42 AM




Night Lorna....you and Walmart open 24/7  
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by Coloconnect (PM , CC ) on Friday December 1, 2006 @ 3:46 AM




Sister Colo...I'm always open and always frugal. Would you be a dear and ask that lovely negro girl in aisle 73 to bring me a box of those delightful 2 for a dollar chocolate covered cherries? I'm famished! LL  
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by Lorna Lovely (PM , CC ) on Friday December 1, 2006 @ 3:59 AM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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