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Lorna Lovely's Life and Litigations


 I Can't Turn My Back For One Second, Can I?
 



Lloyd, Lamar, and I just got back from our mission trip to Romania. While we were there, we were also able to negotiate an open trade policy for Christian cosmetics with their country. We are truly blessed.

But Lord have mercy! I come back to this blog thing for a little fellowship, and what do I find? People running around like chickens with their heads cut off! Grown men who should know better, dressed up in little devil suits, prancing around with their pointy things sticking out!

Well, the only devilled thing around here is our ham! And furthermore, when we did our skits on the last day of Vacation Bible School, if one of the kids acted out and tried to get all the attention, we called them a "ham".

I wanted to share my recipe for the devilled ham loaf I am making for the covered dish at the Secretionist Church this Sunday...



First, slice up some white bread. REALLY white bread.



Then spread lots of devilled crap all over it. Repeat. Repeat. Repent. Repeat.



Then slather lots of (cream) cheese all over it. Keep those radishes handy.



And there you have it. Now doesn't THAT look yummy?

No nibbling now! It's for Sunday!

Now everyone have a blessed evening Lorna

Posted by Lorna Lovely at 7:37 PM - 48 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 I Believe She Said She Is From Houston...I Really Can't Understand Everything She Says
 



Praise the Lord! I finally hired a new young lady to help me around the condo. She seems to be a fine upstanding woman, and sings!...Oh my goodness!...., just sings like a little songbird. A tasteful application of Lady Love cosmetics and a Tab, and she will be fit as a fiddle, I say!

Until next time, blessings on you all.

Lorna
Posted by Lorna Lovely at 3:22 PM - 13 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 "Ambushed The Avon Lady!"
 



Oh dear, we are truly living in the last times, are we not!? I read a very disturbing story on one of the secular internet news sites today that had me in an uproar. Although I am fairly sure that Matt Drudge is not a member of the Secretionist Church, I am still open to information and ideas from those not of my faith, as long as they follow the Lord.
I wanted to share the story in case any of my brothers and sisters in the Word are residing in Connecticut, where this story is unfolding...

"FAIRFIELD, Conn. (AP) - Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle say they have been terrorized by a crazy cat named Lewis. Lewis for his part has been uniquely cited, personally issued a restraining order by the town's animal control officer.

"He looks like Felix the Cat and has six toes on each foot, each with a long claw," Janet Kettman, a neighbor said Monday. "They are formidable weapons."

The neighbors said those weapons, along with catlike stealth, have allowed Lewis to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.

Some of those who were bitten and scratched ended up seeking treatment at area hospitals.

Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield.

In effect, Lewis is under house arrest, forbidden to leave his home.

Solveira also arrested the cat's owner, Ruth Cisero, charging her with failing to comply with the restraining order and reckless endangerment."

Be careful out there and have a blessed day.

Love,
Lorna


Posted by Lorna Lovely at 6:11 PM - 9 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 So Much To Catch Up On
 

I have just received the March 21 newsletter from Ernest Angley, and am delighted to see that missionaries in Thailand are teaching orangutans how to do laundry. We are truly blessed.
I'm just all aflutter tonight. Just one more Gaither Homecoming tape, and I am off to bed, I promise!
Posted by Lorna Lovely at 2:46 AM - 14 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 My First Blog Post
 

I'm packing now. After 20 years at the Betty Ford Clinic, I am ready to take possession of the new condo and get on with business. I am hearing troubling news about the way my daughter-in-law has been handling the affairs of my company, Lady Love, Inc. Once my son motors around and collects my personal effects, I will be able to get settled into the new place. I will check in again at that time.
Posted by Lorna Lovely at 1:17 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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